"Would you love me if I was a worm?" Apparently, yes.

I'm sure some of you have seen it. Heidi Klum essentially won Halloween by dressing up as a worm and I'm kinda obsessed.

My mom said, "Disgusting. Almost looks like bacon." Yes, is it quite grotesque and realistic and mesmerizing. It contains multitudes. The hours of makeup, the apparent months of planning, the fittings bring to mind the physical effects of eighties films.

Think The Witches which I was found stressful and disgusting to watch in my youth. Digital effect simply pales in comparison. While the lizard in Spiderman No Way Home was sort of real looking it was also extremely uncanny valley. This worm though, is more real than the air we breathe.

Also. To see a sexy version of everything under the sun is no big deal when the next thing on your feed is a human sized worm with dead eyes. Prior to witnessing this I saw a post of someone sharing a microscopic photo of an ocean worm which a mutual quote retweeted saying "I should call her". The worm looks comical reminiscent of a SpongeBob side character, but all the while charming. This is how I feel about Heidi Klum, The Worm.

The Worm

This Worm is a timid unit of a creature who creeps into your room in the middle of the night in need a warm blanket and a bite to eat. As an eighties child you are so too old to run screaming to your parents so you bring this human sized worm to the kitchen and give them a glass of milk and a brownie you warmed up quietly in the oven.  Of course you find a twisty straw and cut up the brownie in smaller bites. You lead them to the tv room and watch an episode of All in the Family on low volume and have a great time. You yawn and motion to The Worm that it's time to hit the sack once again since it's ninety minutes 'till sunrise. You then give The Worm the couch blanket and say 'Good night!'. The Worm pats your head with their body in response. You head back upstairs,  get under the covers feeling rather accomplished, and soon drift to sleep. You awaken two hours later, the sun coming through your blinds. After stretching, you walk towards the window to admire the sun and trees when you notice a worm crawling on the window. Remembering the night, you rush downstairs and return with brownie crumbs and a small glass of milk. Grabbing  an eraser from your desk that you didn't stab all the way through you use it as a small plate and drink dish for The Worm. A branch falls close to your window. You open the window and anchor yourself against the sill to place The Worm with its meal of brownie crumbs and a few drops of milk outside. You return inside,  leaving the window open a crack, and go about your morning.

You're Welcome.

[Just riding the brainwaves tonight. I am not easily amused, but she got me]